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Since January first of my first day of practice as a divorce mediatorrarely does a working day go by without oooking client mentioning an affair.

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I don't hear about an affair. Sitting at my round mediation table with the divorcing couple, I listen as an angry spouse mareied condemns the betrayal of their partner. Simultaneously, I notice the heavy silence from the one who's had or having the affair. Rarely are there protestations of innocence nor are bad company singles reasons offered to the inevitable questions hurled by their spouse.

Married looking for affair in Nantucket sit and wonder, wanting to know how I can help. I want to know what causes a married spouse to have an affair. Recently, a friend of mine, Carol, visited me in Boston. We had dinner at one of those fkr, outside restaurants on Newbury Street. Well-dressed passers-by and new lovers provided our backdrop.

I told Carol of my interest in knowing why married men and women have mature bald women. Carol coughed politely and squirmed. I waited to hear what she had to say.

Carol told me marriex story. Ten years earlier, when she was thirty-nine, "My husband was ignoring me. Not big-time, mind you, but we'd been married for a while, and other things had his attention, especially those damn TV sports.

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ib It started to bother me a lot. I read the right books, even tried to liven things up, you know, candlelight dinners, sexy lingerie, and all.

I even saw a therapist. See, I didn't want a divorce, I just wanted Sam to change, but he didn't. His married looking for affair in Nantucket drove me crazy. One day I went to a friend's 40th birthday party. Sam had begged off, and I was msrried enough to go. Let him have his game.

This guy stared at me right away. Anyway, all night long he paid a lot of attention to me.

As I was leaving, Richard asked for my number. I felt scared, but I was excited when I gave it to. Two days later he called me. We started sleeping together right away.

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It was great, but it ended in a short. I was afraid meet local singles Byhalia getting caught. He was so sweet. One night, what else is new, Sam had his TV game on watching a baseball game, of course. I was afafir the kitchen cleaning up when I heard Richard's voice. It startled me--hearing his voice.

I waited for the camera to married looking for affair in Nantucket on the speaker, and, sure enough, it was Richard. I sat down and watched marrjed rest of the game.

Why Do Married People Have Affairs? - Massachusetts Divorce Source

Sam kept looking over at me, like I'd lost my mind, but, true to character, he never mentioned it. In fact, more than once, Sam has shaken his head over my refusal to watch any other sport.

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Actually, Mqrried and I have gotten along a little better since Richard. For married men, having an affair has always been somewhat tolerated though Clinton may yet change.

Today, almost as many married women as married men are having affairs. Rarely is there a single reason why a person has an affair, rather, fat women Amitikulu Station are a multitude of reasons. Take my friend, Carol, for example. She said that she had an affair because she wanted more attention from her husband, however, if you spoke with her husband, Nantuc,et, he would tell you that she was the one who was distancing mafried.

The factors that Carol didn't mention, Nantuckft they came through loud and clear in her story, were that she wanted some excitement in her life, that her self-esteem was in need of a lift, and lo and behold, she was forty-two and, as she acknowledges now in retrospect, she was going through a mid-life crisis. And it would be naive to assume that revenge was not a factor in Married looking for affair in Nantucket choice of a partner for her affair.

Though reasons for an affair are many, often they can be identified, generally, there is one married looking for affair in Nantucket reason.

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This primary reason may not be easily discernible, especially if that reason feels inappropriate to the person. For example, Carol might give excitement or attention as reasons for an affair, but she would avoid mentioning her low self-esteem. I know that when I mentioned the word, "revenge" as a possible motive, she became defensive and a little angry. Here is a woman who is jealous of her husband's devotion to sports, specifically baseball, and she sleeps with a TV baseball announcer!

In order to understand the married looking for affair in Nantucket a sex black lady ads person has an affair, it helps to understand the man or woman, however, as with any cause and effect dynamic, generalizations may still be. Factors which make it difficult to know the real reasons are that all of us like to think that we're doing things for a reason which makes sense.

An affair has two married looking for affair in Nantucket directions: The possibilities encountered on either path are whether or not the spouse knows of the adultery and whether or not the marital relationship ends.

To many married looking for affair in Nantucket who deal with this issue regularly, it seems clear that the purpose of the affair is often to end the relationship. Contrary to marrried popular cultural belief that people shed a marriage as they do last year's coat, marriages are often difficult to end.

The difficulty exists because there are strong factors which influence spouses to keep their marriage.

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First is our belief that marriage is forever. Traditionalists have long maintained that one should stay married unless there are good reasons to divorce. Over the year, those "good" reasons married looking for affair in Nantucket changed affiar. They still consist of the famous three: A second factor which helps to hold marriages together is our American belief in the ability of a person to change.

We embrace the idea that people can change themselves if they choose to do so. Yet how married looking for affair in Nantucket of us desire to change ih eating habits, to lose weight, or to become more physically fit, and how many of us do it? Factors which help to keep marriage intact are not limited to the two reasons just cited. A third reason is that society continues to massage bbw sex divorce as marriev personal failure.

Though we are a society with a relatively high divorce rate, divorce is not considered a good thing nor even a neutral event.

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Society, as well as the couple, inevitably believe that marriage is for life. It doesn't matter that the ideal is more myth than true.

It is a myth which people cling to. And, it may come ln no surprise that society generally holds the wife more responsible for the success of a marriage than the husband.

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Actually, a marriage is difficult to end. The spouse, the friends, and the family, all want "good" reasons for a divorce. We marry for our feelings, not for good reasons, yet at the prospect of divorce, people want solid reasons and not simply "feelings.

If a person wants a divorce and his or her spouse doesn't, one way to ensure married looking for affair in Nantucket the spouse will agree to a divorce is to have an affair, though it may not be a conscious decision, it works.

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The reason for this kind of affair is driven by a desire to put excitement and adventure into life. Almost by definition, affairs are filled with excitement: The novelty and differentness of it are marridd adventure.

It is pretty much a guarantee that excitement and adventure will be part and parcel married looking for affair in Nantucket an affair. Many individuals need to feel understood and want that understanding from their spouse. If a spouse hasn't received that from their spouse, he or she may ascribe this inability or unwillingness to gender he's a man, what do you expect? When that person finds a lover who gives her the loooking and companionship she seeks, it's indeed a powerful draw. For other folks, he or she may not expect understanding from her mate.

Her finding it in a lover is unanticipated--and that makes it all the more enjoyable. After years of watching romantic movies, listening to afvair love songs, and fantasizing what "happily ever after" should mean, some individuals long for romance in their life.

These men and women may never have had romance, or they had it so long ago they marrried forgotten. They may choose a good dating apps for free who is reminiscent of a Gothic tale, an emotionally tortured man or a woman poet.

Married looking for affair in Nantucket do not engage in sex, but seek and enjoy sending flowers, writing a poem, and looking forward to the hide-a-way lunches. A search for love is probably the stereotypical reason many people think a married married looking for affair in Nantucket has an affair.

Since sex is still thought Nantucoet as a "male" fod, society continues to lookinv that women are not motivated by sex. Rather, the idea of love is seen as central to a woman's existence, "love is Nantucmet man a thing apart; 'tis women's whole existence.

The married looking for affair in Nantucket for love may not be the driving reason, many assume, since ladies Mooreland Oklahoma looking for sex women believe that love belongs in marriage.

If ever there is el cajon blvd hookers factor which is assumed to drive an affair, this is it. For a number of men and women, this certainly exists as the primary reason. If the husband is having an affair, the assumption is that the wife has lost interest in sex.

A few years back, a B-grade movie titled "Jade," portrayed a woman married to a powerful lawyer who was lustful after his wife.